Approaching a Prospective Father
If you are facing a pregnancy in which you are not
sure about the identity of the father, you will want
to consider the option of a paternity test in order
to answer this question. But approaching the father may be
difficult in some cases, so here is some advice that
you may want to consider.
What if I’m not sure who the father is?
In order to determine the possible identity of
the father, you will need to narrow the time frame
in which you may have had intercourse. To do so, the
mother will need to speak with her obstetrician or
physician to determine the approximate stage that
the pregnancy is in, and then they will help a
mother determine the probable time frame in which
the child was conceived. That can give a mother an
idea of who she may have been with during that time.
Is that my child?
On the other hand, a possible father
may be curious to know if someone that they had
relations with may be carrying their child. To
determine this, the father will want to get a
paternity test from the mother. This is happening
more often
as fathers want to take responsibility for their
children and build strong relationships.
Asking first
The simplest way to obtain a paternity test is to
ask the man that you consider to be a possible
father. You can do this via letter or via phone
call in order to see what their response is. In most
cases, the possible father will agree to
take the test. If the child is already born, then a
simple at home test with samples from everyone can
quickly and privately give you the results that you
need.
What if you are afraid of the possible father?
In cases of abuse or other dangerous situations,
it may be necessary to ask for a paternity test
through the courts. This happens frequently in the
context of divorce cases, but can also be done by
asking a judge to order the paternity test. By
approaching the paternity test in this manner, you
can hand over the responsibility of collecting the
sample to the courts as well as have a record of
your request on file.
Some women may still be afraid of the
repercussions of this request and may want to
consider obtaining a restraining order as well at
this time. Regardless, if there extenuating
circumstances, it makes sense to make the request
through the courts so there is a paper trial and you
will have the peace of mind know that all of your
bases are covered for now and in the future.
What if the prospective father is deceased or
unwilling?
In cases where the father has died, there are
legal procedures in which the body may be exhumed
for DNA collection, though this can be a long and
drawn out process. To get the same DNA identity
without this process, it may be the court’s decision
or a simple request of close family members of the
man to obtain their DNA profiles. Using the DNA
sample of a close family member in a situation such
as this will usually give a trained eye enough information to establish paternity. Asking relatives for their DNA is also a way to
get around an unwilling father and can also be
obtained through a court order if need be.
It is your right to find out who the
father of your child is and the courts will support
you in that endeavor even if the collecting a sample
from the potential father is difficult.
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